Yet again we find ourselves in the annual grip of what is perhaps one of the most daunting times of the year. For two years our nations teenagers have studied, studied, and studied some more for these few pivotal weeks of GCSE’s. They have been mercilessly hounded, if not indoctrinated into believing that their entire future hinges on the results of these exams, and it doesn’t stop at our kids…the stigma attached to exam ‘failure’ extends to parents, primary caregivers, and of course teachers. To say that the exam period is stressful is an understatement, and we might wonder why we have an ever increasing demand for counselling within high school pupils. Of course, there are numerous other contributory factors to the issues with which they are confronted, but the pressure of exam ‘season’ appears to do little to help the mental health issues that have become so prevalent within our youth of today.

Let us consider one of the primary stressors that is present within our society, and heavily linked to the pressure of taking GCSE’s. The fact that we live in such a materialistic world is a massive contributory factor. Adults and children alike are all too often defined by the acquisition of all things material, and so if we are not fortunate enough to live in the ‘right’ house, drive the ‘right’ car, wear the ‘right’ clothes, go on the ‘right’ holidays, or be seen in the ‘right’ places, we begin to perceive ourselves as being inadequate, and a failure…but to have all these ‘things’ in our lives we need either a VERY high income, or the willingness to get ourselves into the level of debt that brings sleepless nights and inevitable bankruptcy!….Enter STRESS, not just in our adult years, but in our early to mid teens, when there is something akin to panic when the realisation dawns that if we are ever going to make enough money to become a valid member of society we will need to knuckle down and achieve academic miracles!!! All well and good if we happen to be the academic type, but what happens when those expectations are unrealistic and our talents lie elsewhere?

The answer to that is relatively simple, kids become suffocated by a seemingly never ending round of deadlines and targets…and they become VERY stressed, the effects of which can quite literally last a lifetime, leading them to quite possibly NEVER being able to reach their own personal potential. (Once the seed of low self-esteem is sown it will continue to grow, until it is out of control and affecting just about every area of a persons life.) The stress will manifest itself in a number of undesirable, not to mention crippling, psychological and physiological symptoms that kids display in the build up, and during, exam season. They can range from headaches, nausea, skin conditions, inexplicable aches and pains, through to blackouts and bouts of Glandular Fever, that can render sufferers bedridden for weeks, and weakened for months. This is far from an exhaustible list. Ironic really, that the pursuit of ‘success’ has the potential to lead to such debilitating issues so early in life.

So, what do we do with so much doom and gloom? How do we begin to heal this ‘fever’, and this growing fear of failure? How do we return our youth to a state of confidence and enthusiasm that is rightfully theirs so that they can actually look forward to their adulthood with joy and positive expectations?

We can give them, and ourselves, the validation that we all need as human beings, simply through acceptance that each and every one of us is unique, that we do not come in Identikit form, and that our individual strengths lie in different places. We can stop giving our kids the impression that materialism is the ONLY way to go, and that GCSE’s are the be all and end all of their existence, and teach them that there is more than one way to achieve our aims. We can relax, and allow them to relax, safe in the knowledge that they have their OWN roles to fulfil in life, and that true happiness isn’t solely about the number of noughts on their bank balance. Yes, financial security is important, but true success is about inner contentment and a sense of peace that all is well in our own experience. We can encourage, nurture, and praise our kids for who they are as individuals. We can lift the weight of unachievable expectation and allow them to ‘be’, and embark on a journey through adulthood that leads them to their own destination.

And yes, I understand that it IS great to see our kids do well academically, and I am not saying that we should veer them towards a lifetime of daytime television and state handouts, or that we shouldn’t encourage them to be the best that they can be, but do we really need to place so much emphasis on revision and grades to the exclusion of all else??? Do we really want to push our kids to the extent where they become excessively anxious and physically and mentally unwell?

… Quite possibly not, but the better we all feel about ourselves, the better our chances of finding a path that not only brings personal contentment, but makes the path to achieving that much sought after ‘success’ an infinitely less stressful and daunting one !